Whether you eat it or not, we’ve all witnessed the rise of avocado toast.
We also hear a lot about self love. I see articles about it every week. I’m glad there’s an awareness around it, really I am. But I want my readers to know why it matters. I don’t want it to trend on the blogs, then disappear. This isn’t a pumpkin latte, it’s coffee. It’s not avocado toast, it’s the bread!
Maybe I’m hungry. Because the more I think about it, the more I realize it’s not an edible. It’s a compass. A relationship compass.
Self Love is a Relationship Compass
Over the last few weeks we’ve talked about practical ways to show love to yourself. I’m telling you, even if it doesn’t come naturally, you’ve got to try and be kind to yourself. As I explained, it’s like being both child and mother.
Here’s when I fully grasped the connection between self love and relationships.
I was with a guy who wasn’t treating me well. Not abusive, but not good. I was confused because it hadn’t always been this way and I didn’t understand why he’d changed.
One day I heard him talking to his sister on the phone and the love in his voice was obvious. His tone was so warm and caring.
I thought to myself, “Why can’t he talk that way to me? I’m someone’s beloved sister too. My siblings love me…my parents, too! I didn‘t just fall from a tree like an acorn. I have meaning. I have purpose. I am meant to be here. And I will NOT disappoint my future (in the words of the great Sade) by staying where I’m not valued. There’s too much life ahead of me to spend it this way.”
So I left and it changed everything. The bad turned good, the good to better, and now I clearly see the role self love plays in the relationships we participate in.
Sometimes we have to woman up and make power moves. Self love makes you more aware of your strengths. Sure, you still might feel scared or uncertain about your short term future. But you know you’re doing what ‘s best for you.
Have you ever been the one to pull away from someone you might even have loved, because you knew the situation wasn’t healthy for you? Let’s talk!
P.S. Have you heard about The Men’s Commitment Formula? I’ve prepared it to help save your time and emotional energy by showing you the factors that make men commit.
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