Last week I introduced you to what I call the Keep it Moving mindset. It helps you make the most of your Prime Dating Years by keeping you open to many other promising dating opportunities. But guess what? It can also move your relationship to the next level. Whether you’re a FWB wanting more, a long term girlfriend or even if you have a ring without a wedding date…
The “Keep it Moving” mindset applies at every stage of the Commitment Stairway.
For example, at the friend stage, I believe 90 days is long enough for a guy to be able to say if he wants to have an exclusive girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. If not, you keep it moving. You explain what you want then stop seeing him if he’s not interested enough to give it a try.
Bonafide girlfriends can adopt the Keep it Moving mindset too. If you’ve been dating forever and there’s no serious talk of marriage, you’re overdue for a relationship talk-if he’s someone you genuinely would be happy living the rest of your life with. If not- you’re the one wasting you’re own time, Sis. Why are you still there?
You do the Keep it Moving mindset for yourself, but a side effect is that it sometimes sparks the change you want to see!
In “Dating on Purpose”, I share the story of Manny and Denise:
Keep it Moving…He’ll Come Back If It’s Meant to Be: Denise and Manny’s True Story
Denise and Manny had been dating a couple of years when suddenly his job posted him to another country. This was before the days of cellphones and email. They called each other and sent letters back and forth.
This was okay till six months in when Denise had an epiphany:
Suppose Manny eventually met someone else he liked as much her in his new location? She’d be left high and dry after staying faithful to him for who knows how long. She was in her mid-twenties and had an understanding these were her PDYs. She felt it might be more realistic for them to go their separate ways while he was overseas. She wrote him a letter explaining her decision and basically set him free.
When Manny received it, he sat on it for a few weeks in a state of shock. Did Denise just break up with him by letter? What had he done wrong? He finally worked up the courage to call her.
She assured him he was guiltless and explained her reasoning. Then Manny blurted out, “You know I’ve never met anyone I’d want to marry more than you. I’ll marry you, if that’s what it takes.” He gave her the commitment level she needed to wait. They made adjustments to their visitation schedule and that’s how their relationship got on to the track to marriage.
Update: Denise and Manny have been happily married over 20 years and currently have a kid in college and two in high school.
R&B singer Melanie Fiona’s boyfriend Jared Cotter proposed to her on Valentine’s Day in the middle of a staged photo shoot. She had no idea what was coming. Aw, how nice, you say. Wait-here’s the interesting part. Look at his instagram post afterwards:
In this post of an older photo, Jared explains that she broke up with him that night. “She already knew what we were and could be and I was still behind. The best thing I’ve ever done was catch up to her.”
Boom!Sometimes you have to remove yourself as an option for a man to realize it's you he wants.Click To Tweet
So there you go. Stalled relationships can blossom with the Keep it Moving mindset. Yes, you run the risk of him never coming to find you, and that’s a risk you mentally prepare for before you do it. Feeling the impact of your absence is key to this.
Do you think it might be time for you to keep it moving? Download my free ebook, “Give Him a Reason to Commit” which breaks down what you can do to move your relationship to the next level!
Till next week,